THE HATEFUL EIGHT
Most notable for: A Tarantino movie is always a treat, and this is his most overt proof that they just don’t make ‘em like they used to, with a running time in excess of three hours, old-timey title cards and 70mm showings (for which I am traveling to Birmingham).
Unqualified critical observation: I’ll admit that when the script first leaked a few years ago, I was underwhelmed. A western Resevoir Dogs?, I said to myself, before my wife asked why I was talking to myself. When the first trailer came out, I was even more downtrodden. Where’s the creativity and delightful excess that was once Tarantino’s calling card?, I asked myself again. With some early reviews and better-cut trailers, however, I am once again in the Tarantino fanboy camp, happily traveling four hours to see it in glorious, panoramic 70mm!
THE REVENANT
Most notable for: Alejandro Inarritu (Birdman, 21 Grams) has never been my favorite director, though he is certainly a celebrated one. With this film, he appears to use shocking violence and his signature story-telling patience to possibly lead DiCaprio to his first over-deserved Oscar.
Unqualified critical observation: Marketed as a breakneck-pace story of revenge and single-shot rifle gun battles, I have a feeling this is much more a slow burn than audiences expect. I’ll see it in theaters for the sweeping vistas, but I’m fully prepared for the long shots, lack of dialogue, and careful character study that generally comes with these types of pictures.
THE FOREST
Most notable for: Natalie Dormer (Game of Thrones, The Tudors) finally has her first starring role in a major motion picture, after being a scene-stealer on the small screen and the object of the Internet’s love for many years.
Unqualified critical observation: I love Dormer and hope she elevates this dreck to something watchable, even if it warrants more of a Redbox or Netflix investment than a theatre trip. With a PG-13 rating, I’m not expecting much in the scares department.
DIRTY GRANDPA
Most notable for: When the most notable thing about your movie is the uncanny resemblance its title has to a Jackass movie, you should have just made a different movie,
Unqualified critical observation: With The Hateful Eight and The Revenant, my hopes were flying high that this January would be unlike most other Januarys, which are typically a dumping ground for studio garbage. With this and The Forest though, it’s nice to see that Hollywood isn’t changing up their scheduling game too much. I’ll be avoiding this one, great cast though it may have. I suggest you do the same.
KUNG FU PANDA 3
Most notable for: One of the three great Dreamworks animated properties (the other two being Shrek and How to Train Your Dragon) comes to an end with this iteration, and the whole gang is back together to see it go.
Unqualified critical observation: I’ve always loved these films. Their mix of eastern philosophy, bright and poppy animation, and distinctive multi-level humor mixed with a great cast is a fantastic combination. And while this story seems a bit spread out, with no clear through-line, I’ll still give it a solid Po shot.